Bemused Friend Of Theatremakers Seeks Less-Furious Social Circle – London

Job: Friends
Artform: Just being normal
Paid?: Paid in love, and the occasional round of drinks
Location: London (and also on all major social networking sites)

Following an exhausting period of time where all of my friends have been extremely angry about cuts to the Arts Council, and government policy in general, I’m looking for a whole new social circle that are a bit – you know – less pissed off.

I haven’t actually done any theatre since university, and I feel like my artsy friends and I went through some really great times together, but I don’t think talking to me about Arts Council cuts will do any good.

For a start, I have a day-job in Millets, selling tents and hiking boots and other outdoorsy-type stuff. I’m a pretty understanding guy, and I admit that some of the government’s actions seem a little ideological, but jeez, guys, you’ve got to lighten up.

My friend Jeff signed my birthday card with the legend “Good luck making it to the next birthday without any THEATRE”, and I was trying to have a nice quiet pint with Nicola, but she couldn’t stop breathlessly calling George Osborne unspeakably crude names and tearing a napkin into really small pieces. I sympathise with their friends losing their jobs, and there being less money around to fund another bloody PLAY I have to go to, but seriously, do they have to be such dicks about it?

I’m looking for a whole new social circle to replace the one I have at the moment. Perhaps where we can have a nice drink or a picnic on a Sunday, without Martin insisting we all go and occupy a tax-dodging shop and do a bit of agit-prop theatre.

And I’d also like a Twitter feed that isn’t relentlessly depressing. Maybe it just contains tweets about football, or what happened on Britain’s Got Talent… I’m pretty sure Sarah’s Facebook wall used to be about funny pictures of rabbits and cool graffiti she had seen, and that was quite enjoyable; now she just posts up extracts of Johann Hari articles, and then links through to the same Johann Hari articles. It’s just a bit of a drag.

I welcome applications from people who like throwing a frisbee, those who are excited about the Royal Wedding, and moderately attractive girls who might have sex with me even though I don’t know the UK’s National Debt as a percentage of GDP.

Apply to NRAJ Box 34
notrealartsjobs@googlemail.com

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