Archive for May, 2010

Marketing Co-ordinator at Why Not Museums? – London

Posted in Arts Administration, Visual Art & Museums on May 31, 2010 by Not Real Arts Jobs

Job: Marketing Co-ordinator
Artform: Museums
Paid?: Why not?
Location: London

Why Not Museums? is (or are) a charity working to promote and co-ordinate museums as a destination of tourism and casual learning amongst Britons and visitors to Britain.

We are looking for a Marketing Co-ordinator to work with us in promoting the name of Why Not Museums? and in developing our brand to position ourselves as a key portal for those considering a trip to a museum, or those that would never consider a trip to a museum who really should consider… uh… that.

The museum. As a consideration.

We want the key question on everyone’s lips to be “Why Not Museums?”

“Why Not Museums?”
“That is an excellent plan for a day-trip.”

And for that to be the answer as well.

“What shall we do today?”
“Why Not Museums?”

It works as both a question and an answer.

For example, if you’ve got the vast open emptiness of a bank holiday looming ahead of you, “Why Not Museums?”

If you want to learn about stuff that you might find in a museum, “Why Not Museums?”

If you’re considering buying a sofa or a whippet or something, “Why Not Museums?” (You might find some moment of clarity in a museum.)

If you’re asking “Why Not Museums?”, “Why Not Museums?” Like a mum would ask “Why Not Museums?”, and then the dad would say “Why Not Museums?”. A homely scene.

She would say “Why Not Museums?” and then he would say “Why Not Museums?”

And then they would go to a museum.

Why Not Museums?

Why not, eh? Why not museums? Why not?

Your first duty in role will be to change this stupid fucking name.

Please apply to NRAJ Box 29
notrealartsjobs@googlemail.com

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New Country Required For Entire UK Arts Industry – Global

Posted in Multi-Discipline on May 13, 2010 by Not Real Arts Jobs

Job: Country
Artform: All
Paid?: A little respect would be nice
Location: Anywhere but here

The entire UK Arts industry is looking for a new country to reside in, following the election of a Conservative coalition government.

That’s right, folks! We’re shipping out! All of us. Apart from Michael Caine.

We’re looking for somewhere to ply our various trades – somewhere where arts subsidy isn’t replaced with non-existent private benefactors, somewhere where we can operate without futile attempts to trim our admin budget, and somewhere where the BBC is not treated as Rupert Murdoch’s whipping boy.

Also, somewhere warm.

Some may accuse us of being rats abandoning a double-dipping ship. Those people are correct. See you guys in four years!

Please apply to NRAJ Box 28
notrealartsjobs@googlemail.com