Na’vi Translator – Pandora / Work From Home

Job: Na’vi Translator
Artform: Poetry / Translation
Paid?: I may let you connect your braid to my five-legged horse
Location: Pandora / Work From Home

Qapla’! I am a Klingon poet looking to branch out into new markets, and so I’m looking for a translator who can turn my brutish Klingon verse into lyrical Na’vi.

My poetry, similar to most Klingon poetry, is striking, guttural, and usually concludes with a solid headbutt. Subjects include war, rough sex, fighting, bat’leth repair, punching people in the face with the heel of one’s hand, and traditional Klingon mating rituals. These rituals are also basically fighting.

I would like a translator who is able to take my poems and make them relevant to the Na’vi of Pandora, whose culture of nature worship, bioluminescent skin, and fondness for trees, I would greatly admire, if that wouldn’t make me some creepy little petaQ.

I believe there’s some real money in poetry, and also in the Na’vi, who admittedly don’t have any pockets, but do have unobtanium out of the wazoo. I also want to appeal to the “Earthling Who Is Dangerously Lonely and Getting Lonelier” market.

You will be fluent in both Klingon and Na’vi, and have a genuine skill at translating poetry celebrating gutsy violence into mimsy tree-hugging bullshit.

I cannot pay for this translation, but can offer a reference, connections within the Klingon High Council for future Na’vi translations, and – as stated above – I may let you connect the tendrils of your sentient ponytail with the back of my five-legged horse’s head, although I can’t say I approve of that, and may accidentally punch you.

Apply to NRAJ Box 4
notrealartsjobs@googlemail.com

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